I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
