Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize