mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
And then my night got REAL pukey
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
