On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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