Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
