Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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