I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
