no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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