I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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