I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
