woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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