miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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