were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
