Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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