i think my mom watched the whole time
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
