u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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