Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
