this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
