this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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