I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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