So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
