I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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