so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Boobs speak an international language.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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