Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
