He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
