I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize