ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
