we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
accomplished twins. life is a go
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
