I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
