hell yes lets make some ravioli
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
