Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
