had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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