Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
