sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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