weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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