whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize