My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
