I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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