You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
