3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize