The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
