Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
