WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
