check it out our google latitudes are spooning
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
