Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
