You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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