Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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