So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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