At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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