After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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