Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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