haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
