im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
