trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
