She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
