The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
