If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
